Milton Jones one-liners

I bloody love Milton Jones. Now as a comedian he may not be up there with the greats, but as a one-liner specialist I’ve never heard anyone better. One-liners were big in the 1970s, but they smacked of racism, sexism, homophobia and general bad taste which was tolerated and accepted as the norm. The 80s brought in a new breed of ‘alternative’ comedy, and to a large extent one-liners disappeared. Not any more, thanks to Milton Jones.

My top five Milton Jones one-liners…

  1. Dear all, just to say I will be leaving my job in the genetic department of the RSPB. Sorry for the round robin.

  2. I was mugged by a man on crutches, wearing camouflage. Ha ha, I thought, you can hide but you can’t run.

  3. Keep putting things in wrong containers in the kitchen. Not Alzheimer’s – that’s different kettle of fish.

  4. Roman numerals to be phased out – not on my watch.

  5. Beyonce new single for older demographic – ‘All the shingle ladies’



2 thoughts on “Milton Jones one-liners

  1. Pingback: Frankie Boyle – shock and awe in aid of Reprieve | FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH

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