I’m really very sorry. I saw this on Have I Got News For You last night and just had to share it. Watching this video in its entirety is quite a horrific experience. Apparently these are the three X Factor finalists. The cream of this year’s talent. Silent Night? Holy shit. I apologise in advance if you’re brave enough to take it on….

Cameron looks brilliantly awkward. Is it me or did nothing happen when the countdown ended? Cutbacks are clearly affecting everyone. This is the Tories showing they’re in touch with the youth of today. Or it’s the Tories capitalising on the ‘popularity’ of a crap TV show whose viewing figures are, at last, steadily in decline. My favourite worst moment… 1:16 in and the wanna be RnB star’s attempt at Carey-esque vocal gymnastics. Ouch. He’ll probably win though. He looks very cute.

In case you hadn’t guessed, I detest the X Factor. The programme sums up perfectly much of what is wrong with our society; namely a greed for all the wrong types of wealth and our horribly unhealthy obsession with ‘image’. My main beef with the programme is aimed at Simon Cowell, closely followed by his presenters, or the ‘mentors’ as I believe they’re called. Oh, you may ask how can I criticise a programme that I don’t watch. If the programme has been on, I dunno, five or ten years, I’ve watched in total a few hours worth. Snippets here and there, on the news mainly. Enough to know the programme is horrific. Why?


Simon Cowell has no interest in anything but his own financial wealth and self-importance. I believe every decision he makes is based on himself and the success of his programme, without a care for the performers. Surely I must be one of millions who just looks at him and thinks… smug cunt. Yet his wealth clearly gives him power. So we let him run amok, polluting the airwaves, his fame, fortune and power make him almost untouchable by the media. When managing record shops I used to sell X Factor ‘charity’ singles. £3.99 for one song, plus a ‘remix’ as a second. Bloody expensive for one and a half shit songs, and a whopping £1 went to the charity. The other £2.99? Have a guess. Yes, much money was raised for charity, but why not raise more by selling them for £1.99 with the same £1 going to charity? Have a guess.

The presenters on the show also do not care about the performers. They do the show for the money and to revive or extend their own careers, and of course when you have celebrity presenters you also have scandal and gossip – an excellent marketing ploy. Let’s invent some scandal, get it in the papers, let’s bitch, gossip and bullshit… all of which makes for bigger ratings and more money for Cowell and his showbiz friends. I couldn’t care less, but for whatever reason millions clearly do.

As for the wannabe stars, again I couldn’t care less. It is a sad state of affairs when this TV programme is the breeding ground for our next ‘pop’ stars, mainly because all it is doing is lining Cowell’s pockets. Very occasionally somebody half decent emerges, but considering they’ve emerged from, I dunno, hundreds of thousands of applicants, the occasional half-decent performer is hardly a good return. Besides, any pop act who can’t be successful after appearing in front of millions on mainstream TV, voted for by the public, exposed to an obscene amount of publicity, and backed by Cowell’s entourage, really deserves nothing anyway.

For me, any celebrity who is associated with the X Factor loses all credibility. The programme is lowering the standards. TV is getting worse, pop acts are getting worse, celebrity culture is getting worse, our need for greed is getting worse, and the British public are lapping it up.


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